Questionable Intelligent Design: A letter of concern from Esophagus

My roommate sucks. No. Literally. Sucks air. I am Esophagus. I live in a small, fleshy cylinder shaped space and share it with Trachea. Our living arrangements would normally be okay except at times we are cramped for space and have the occasionally miscommunication as to who does what job. I am in charge of fueling the human body with nutrients via food and Trachea is supposed to provide oxygen to the lungs. This miscommunication has caused many accidents including death. So, it might be a little more serious than your typical roommate disagreement and some might say we should live apart, after all if we had our own places we would not try to do each others job.

I am unsure as to why we insist on living together. Maybe it is the same reason why others have a roommate, to save energy or for convenience. Some might say it is that way because of evolution or the complexity of another mouth type opening would force the body to work harder protecting itself from pathogens.

Our miscommunication can cause many problems, for example, if I accidentally allow food to enter Trachea’s side of our place it can get stuck in the passage way and block Trachea from getting oxygen so that our human can breathe. This can cause choking which then results in asphyxia and that can be fatal.   Also, if food somehow makes it into the lungs it can cause discomfort and possible pneumonia from bacteria.

Not only do we have to worry about our human choking to death or catching pneumonia we also have to consider what happens when too much air gets in my side of our space. This happens more then we would like and can leave our human with abdominal pain and possible embarrassing flatulence.

I realize that my roommate and I have our disagreements at times and that we will most likely never separate but I question the reason why we ever started living together. Our jobs are vital to human survival. After all, you wouldn’t ask a plumber and an electrician to share the same outlet when building a house.

At times I feel like our abilities are taken for granted and a peaceful living agreement can only come from our human’s cooperation to eat slower and chew more. If we are forced to live together we demand better treatment otherwise we might retaliate and no one wants that.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>